Children are believed to be the future, but they also represent the past.  They bring with them the knowledge, the experiences and the traits of many generations.

You must not seek to know your child completely as this is their task.  A daunting one at that without the complication of a parent who feels they know their child’s path.

All children carry with them the energy of potential; a wonderful gift full of all sorts of possibilities.

But children need to be children.  Children laugh and children cry, they bear the burden of growing physically, spiritually and emotionally, a task with many complications.

Children need to be children.  They do not need to be burdened with the knowledge of adults.

Take a child by the hand, nurture and protect them.  When they are fearful cradle them in your arms.  When they cry out in the night reassure them that their nightmares are not real.  Ask them to share their experiences but do not overly praise them for what they reveal.

When they ask a question give them a child’s answer.

Guide them to discover for themselves, but most of all reassure them when they cannot console themselves and do not plant the seed of fear.

Potential is a great power.  It can serve to inspire but it can also terrify.

Each child is born into this world with one desire and one purpose – to have the love and affection of their parents.

Tell them what they are to become and you are telling them that they are not already enough.

Tell them what they are to become and you take away their chance to dream and their opportunity to choose their own path.

How can a child become a great musician when they are afraid to play for fear of hitting the wrong note?

Believe in your children.    They are the future, but the future is of their making not ours.

Teach them as best you can that they are special and important but no more special or important than any other child.

Children are children.  They are not healers or magicians or professors.  These things will come later if, and only if they choose to accept them.

We need to be parents to our children because this is what they need us for more than ever.

Today’s children, like yesterday’s children, have a very special gift, the gift of innocence.  Let children grow up in a world of safety with parents who love them unconditionally, regardless of where they are living or what contact they have with them.

Share and embrace their spiritual gifts in a way that they can understand.

Encourage them to seek and encourage them to find.

There is always time.  Gifts will emerge quickly when the timing is right.

Encourage gently but resist the urge to push.

In childhood, time is eternal.  This is as it should be.

Embrace your children with unconditional love for their past, present and future.


Creating a family brings great blessings and great joy.  It creates an outward focus in the world and encourages change for the better. Those who would happily hide themselves away from the world, content not to be apart of it rather than change it, are now inspired to make the world a better place because their children will be out in it.

These peaceful people, who would rather remain passive, become great peaceful warriors for their children, shaping their worlds to include fairness, honesty, trust and good will; creating leaders with the confidence to dismantle the old systems that no longer serve us and creating great thinkers and compassionate hearts to rebuild something new and welcome.

Motherhood changes us.  It imprints on our hearts a message that we are more than just ourselves.  It reminds us that we need to get out more but it also makes those quiet introverted moments all the more sacred and sweet.

Motherhood gives us a strength that we never thought we had and a reason to get through the aches and pains of life.  It gives us purpose, a time of insulation and cocooning and a very definite time of growth, blossoming and emerging.  It compels us to look both inside and outside of ourselves and find a place that is both satisfying and uncomfortable.

Motherhood pushes us far outside our comfort zone as our beliefs begin to change, our assumptions and expectations dissolve and our own selves are reflected back at us through the eyes of our children.

No self development course or amount of self reflection or philosophy ever prepares you for life’s ultimate transformation and yet within it comes the most incredible moments.

Motherhood stretches and moulds us, sometimes tearing us apart in the process, but always lovingly putting us back together stronger, wiser and more whole in the process.

In motherhood we find no greater love.

Blessings to all mothers out there, you are noticed and you are vital.  Thank you for allowing yourselves to be transformed so that our world can become a greater place.

Love Relationships

For those of us who are in relationships or those of us who want to be, let’s review how we interact with each other. There may now be no rules for dating or meeting others but let’s start creating them. Let’s bring back real honest communication. By this I do not mean saying every word that you think without filtering it!

Let’s have a bit of respect for ourselves and a bit of respect for those that we are coming into contact with. You cannot expect to meet someone and have them agree to spend the rest of their life with you. This is about taking time to get to know someone.

We have become so fixated on what we want and what we are looking for that we are not considering the needs or wants of our prospective partners. We are making a judgment within a few minutes of whether this person can be all that we desire and yet love does not work this way.

We either need to allow things time to develop and trust in a lot of non-verbal cues and communication to work out how someone feels about us or we need to engage in an active business style negotiation. Only you will know which of these will work for you.

Love is subtle. Love does not barge in and announce itself. Love does not wear a name badge and speed date. Love involves a gentleness of spirit, a generosity of heart and goodness of will. It involves a goodness of fit between two people who share common values and who feel a level of trust.

Values are always best demonstrated rather than talked about. It does no good to talk about how good a person you are, these are qualities that you demonstrate to a person over time.

We are in a time where we perhaps talk too much in order to speed up the process, but we are all doing the talking and no one is taking a chance on listening. We are always evaluating and judging not only others but ourselves and this is getting in the way of forming genuine relationships.

Many have become disillusioned with the opposite sex, or even the same sex and many are left wondering in this modern, technological age, where on Earth are we supposed to meet people.

Actually the more important question is not where but how? How does the human race fulfil its need for love, appreciation and companionship?

On an evolutionary level relationships were formed in order for species to procreate or bring offspring into the world. Our family or tribe offered protection both physical and emotional. Our partner offered protection as we brought our children into the world. We protected our children and they formed relationships and brought their own children into the world and on and so on.

In today’s environment relationships are not always about having a family, but may be more focused on companionship, physical closeness and someone to share the hardships of the world with. None of us have come into the world without some sort of emotional or physical baggage and we are all hoping that our partner will have none and that they will be able to help us carry ours! This is admirable, but not very realistic.

We wish to be loved unconditionally and yet we are too defensive to love someone else unconditionally. We are approaching love with the same frustration and dread as buying a car or a house.

We need to learn how to be subtle again. We need to talk less and understand more. We need to understand that our potential partners may have differing needs to our own and that they may have different timelines for when they want to do things. We need to understand that people will compromise and may alter some of their life plans to include you but not on a first date.

We need to take a risk to see if something is working out and we need to give it time. 4 weeks is not a long enough time!

We need to understand that love develops, it is not negotiated. We need to know that we all have baggage and we all need to be prepared to carry some. If you each carry a bit and take it in turns, it’s actually not that heavy!

We need to be human first and see other people as people, not criteria. People are not boxes to tick. We need to remember that love is not always easy but it is worth it.

We need to stop seeing love as a job or hard work and start enjoying each others company. Instead of asking about what job the person has or what other family commitments ask yourself; Do I like being with you? Do you help me to feel good about myself? Do I enjoy helping you to feel good about yourself? Do I want to spend more time with you?

If you answer yes to these questions then the rest can be worked out.

Each time you are with a person it develops your relationship; if you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone then you do not need to rush the conversation. We rush the conversation to rule people out as quickly as possible. This is not a very productive way to find love.


Relationships are both our greatest strength and our greatest weakness.

In our quest for love we find within ourselves our most inspiring qualities; tenderness, kindness, joy, respect, humility, gratitude and sacrifice. We also find ego, jealousy, bitterness, resentment, loathing and fear.

It is in fear that each and every relationship is destroyed.  We fear for ourselves that we will not be provided for.  We fear losing our love and drifting apart.  We fear making a binding commitment in a time where our futures remain unclear but more than anything we fear losing ourselves, losing our will and losing our choice, losing our right to be nourished and grow independently.

What began as two rosebuds beginning their journey together turns to a battle of thorns and weeds. Where sharing the world becomes competing for breath, light and space, when once you would have been happy to shed your own petals for the happiness of your partner, there is now only fear;  fear that you will never be able to give enough to make them happy and fear that you will never be enough to make yourself happy.

But look beyond this.  Move away from fear.  What makes you happy? Can anybody truly make you happy all the time? Why then do we expect that we must fulfill this role for others?  When you partner yourself with another, you make a commitment to be happy within yourself and to share this happiness with your partner.

By giving all of yourself to make another happy you take away their right to find happiness for themselves.  You fall into ego, convinced that only you can give them what they need.  When they react to this violation of free will with anger, we take the opposite approach believing ‘Nothing I do will ever be enough.’

It is only by stepping back from our most intimate state of vulnerability that we can find a middle ground.  To acknowledge that we are amazing is to also recognise that we are not everything and more importantly that we do not need to be.

Two paths can travel side by side.  If one of you chooses to take a turn, arrange to meet up around the corner.  You do not need to follow the same dream for this would lead to competition.  Is it not more fun to live one dream and observe another?

It is neither the music we listen to nor the work that we do that brings us together.  It is the basic respect and admiration that we have for that person and the basic respect and admiration that they, in return, have for us.

In time, what changes is not in the having of respect but in the showing of it.  We take for granted that our partner knows what they mean to us and forget to show it.  We can dance on top of the highest hill and still come home to our loved ones.

Sometimes leaving a relationship is our last attempt at reclaiming our power.

It is, by its very own determination, a statement that we are in control of our own future and that we still exist.  Is it possible to reclaim our power in another way?  After all it has not been taken away but freely given when you began your lives together.  When priorities shift and old dreams make way for new ones, it is time to review old promises, thoughts and assumptions.  Don’t be afraid to release old vows and rewrite new ones.  Clarify with each other what you are happy to give and what you would like to receive.  Start afresh.

Sometimes it is only when we reach a time of crisis that we can make these choices.  A partner who has always nurtured may become ill and they need to be nurtured.  A partner who promised to love, honour and obey may feel too constricted by this.  When you make a promise you are bound by your words.  Check them carefully and if they become out-dated or are impossible to achieve, release them or alter them altogether.

Resentment and loathing, whilst commonly associated with anger, can also be traced back to fear.  We become angry that our partner is not making us happy but then become fearful about why they are not trying hard enough.  Instead of seeing this as an impossible promise, we instead fear that maybe we are not good enough or do not deserve love and happiness.

Look below the anger and find the fear.  Acknowledge the hurt and the sadness.  Progress can be made with sadness and hurt but nothing is resolved through anger.  Respect your partner enough not to force your will onto them.  Do not seek to immediately use your power.  If you walk out what choice do you give them?

It is not easy to speak so generally about such a broad topic as it stirs many different emotions.

As previously mentioned, it is in relationships that the rules and principles are acted upon with the most intensity.

In love relationships every emotion is exaggerated.  Aggression, ego and passion can all become one. Our usual perception of energy, as positive or negative is lost and we are left with simply an explosion of emotions.

It is very hard to step out of a hurricane but not as hard to step into it.  In the eye of the storm you can gain some peace, clarity and perspective with the advantage of keeping your options open.

It is useful to identify the problems and be responsible for your behaviour. It is not your responsibility to bring up your partner’s faults. Consider possible outcomes and what you would like to happen but do not yet decide on a solution. Many people decide that there is only one solution and then proceed to share this life changing solution with their partner, often with bags already packed and commitments neatly popped on the table.

Remember, you have had what seems like a lifetime to ponder this solution whilst they haven’t even had five minutes to think about the problem.  Had the situation been reversed the reaction may have been very different.

We must all make choices for ourselves and when it comes to relationships there is no simple rule except to say we experience the most powerful energy in the world in our relationships.  Learn how to transform your relationships and the world will never look the same again.

Making Things Better

We are all trying to solve the problems of others thinking that we know best, but we are all guided by our own personality styles and our own baggage and expectations. If we focus a little less on solving problems and a little more on making things better, we can make a bigger difference.

When we focus on what is wrong, we get stuck. We dwell on everything that has gone wrong in our lives and we seek only validation of how terrible our lives have been. We begin to define ourselves by the awfulness of life and measure our happiness in terms of how bad or not bad today was.

If we put our focus on how to make things better, we are free to acknowledge the past and validate it, but we are not stuck in it. We are free to set our brain to thinking about positive possibilities. Even if we cannot come up with a reasonable solution, it is a more pleasant way to go about it than to just get bogged down.

When you ask your brain to work to your advantage, your brain gets a bit excited. We really do not respect our brains enough or give them enough credit. Being creative is what they were born for, not just to calculate and remember boring things.

Working with your brain and with your personality, as well as with your body, there really is not anything that cannot be made more interesting, enjoyable or just plain better.

Give your brain a bit of workout today and see how it rewards you.

Easing Pain Within The Physical Body

We spend much of our lives directing our life force and our energy out into the world. We focus on people, things and environments that are external to ourselves. At some point if we lack balance between an external focus and an internal one, our bodies and minds begin to suffer the effects through exhaustion and injury and illness. The body lets us know that we have been away too long by reminding us of pain.

When we are infants we need to learn that our arms and legs are a part of us. We do this through movement and touch. When our mothers massage our toes and stroke our fingers, she is an extension of us and she is showing us that all is well and as a consequence our nerves connect and learn how to function optimally.

In the case of auto immune diseases of any kind, the pain is caused because you have been out of your body too much or have become chronically disconnected. This can happen through emotional or physical trauma, abuse, depression and being overloaded and overwhelmed.

When you are overloaded elements of the body and or mind disconnect from the body and the body begins to deteriorate. The body sees you as a stranger and therefore as a threat. It thinks that it can not trust you because you are never there or you never communicate anymore.

This can also happen in pregnancy if your body does not assimilate and recognise your baby as your own.

The solution to this is to come back into your body again. You spend way too much time trying to not be present. It is time to take responsibility and get back in. Just by being consciously present your body responds to you. Take time to get to know your body again through touch. Treat your body gently when you wash it and dry it. Gently rub your arms or give yourself a head or foot massage to remind yourself that everything is connected and that your body is a part of you.

In terms of migraines, usually this is fear based. Not only do you disconnect from your body because you are afraid that you are going to die, you disconnect from your mind because the thoughts that you have are too traumatic.

In this instance, do cranial work getting to know your head again. Learn to breathe properly. Massage your scalp and release tension from inside your mouth by pressing your thumbs up on the roof of your mouth. Press firmly on the muscles of your jaw to release them and rub firmly behind your ears.

Get to know each element of your face and head intimately and as you do so you are reconnecting with yourself. It is important that you are doing these things for yourself and not just relying on others or other professionals to do this for you. Even though it feels great to have someone else in charge and they can often reach bits you cannot reach, it is your relationship with yourself that allows for the healing to occur.

In the case of diabetes, protein cannot get into the cells properly and so your physical health deteriorates. There is an excess of sugar in your blood and just as eating sugary foods damage your teeth, having an excess of glucose in your blood damages the body.

Imagine that what you eat converts into molasses, a thick sweet, sticky, gooey substance. Because there is a lot of this in your blood, your body tries to expel it by making you drink more and urinate more frequently. Unfortunately this is not always effective over the long term and clearing out this substance places great pressure on the organs of the body.

When you have diabetes this substance makes it hard to have energy. This is because you are not converting protein into energy because the protein cannot be absorbed properly into your cells. Instead you are using glucose as a form of energy but you always have too much of it. It is harder to lose weight because when you exercise like a regular person you just burn off the glucose and not the fats. If you exercise for long enough to get to burn off fat then you become exhausted and your body triggers the hunger response thus continuing the cycle.

There are several ways that you can help your body to manage this cycle.

First of all drink plenty of water. This essentially flushes out the toxins and glucose from your bloodstream and organs. Hydration will help you to feel better and more mentally alert.
Immediately after you eat do 15-20 minutes of activity. It does not have to be high intensity, just avoid sitting down straight away. Walk around the house or office or wherever you happen to be. If you want to do gentle bike riding on an exercise bike then do 10 minutes. Having movement after you eat helps to eliminate the sugars in your bloodstream and activate your metabolism. If you eat 3 meals a day and have 20 minutes activity after each meal then you are getting a good amount of movement to clear your system out.

Do not do more than 20 minutes at a time after meals as this will trigger a hunger response and will undo the good work that you are doing.

Bless your water before you drink it. I bless this water with good health. I bless my blood and I allow the protein to enter my cells.

Research has shown that the cellular structure of water changes when intent is projected into water. It is a quick simple strategy that can make drinking your water a more pleasant experience.

For those with organ function issues i.e. kidney, liver, heart issues. All of these strategies will help to take the pressure off your organs and to improve general wellbeing.
Migraines are fear based. They occur when the mind thinks thoughts that are stressful, threatening or traumatic. This can occur after a single traumatic event but usually is the result of chronic stress within an environment or chronic negative thinking.

Of course there are other common elements that may bring about migraine, including a reaction to medication or food, lack of sleep and having a body that is in need of adjustment (i.e. chiropractic, osteopathic etc.), but essentially these can all be classified as some sort of stress placed on the body.

When you are out of your body or disconnected from your body or your thoughts for too long, new brain pathways develop that make it easier for you to be away but your body has to work harder and on less energy when you disconnect. This puts the body under additional strain and so it begins to breakdown. We tend to see this as even more reason not to be in the body and we get more fearful about the state of our health. The worry disconnects us even further and the cycle continues.

The only person who can fully assimilate themselves back into their body and into their life is you. This is a very manageable process once the decision is made but making the decision is very hard.

Being unwell protects you from the demands of others. Being unwell gives you permission to give up those activities that are too demanding and which you do not want to prioritise. Being unwell gets you the support and sympathy you need to cope in this world, BUT it all comes at a cost. You are essentially destroying yourself because you cannot face others. You are too polite to say what you really feel some of the time and you would rather hurt yourself than hurt someone else’s feelings. When you give up on you, the cost can be too high.
The spiral of health issues and emotional overload continues and life gets harder and more limited. It becomes impossible to do all of the good things, and all of the practical things that you want to do when you are disconnected. When you are disconnected you get everyone else’s negative emotion as they try to help, but end up feeling resentful, and you miss out on the positive connections with loved ones because you are just not able to be there to enjoy them.

So what is the solution? You could have a walk in take over as you feel that this would forgo the burden of grief that your family would feel if you were not there, but guess what? Others are not so simple. They can tell that you are no longer there and they are grieving anyway.

You do not want to die, in fact most of your anxieties and fears are about thinking that you are dying because your body feels so bad. You are most desperately afraid of not being good enough. You have suddenly discovered that the things you want in life are important and that it’s not enough to want something, you need to be prepared for taking responsibility for it.
You are overloaded with responsibility but guess what? Most of it is not actually yours to take!! When you walk through the airport of life you seem to consciously or unconsciously begin to carry everyone else’s luggage. Sometimes this is because people directly ask you to because they know that you will, and sometimes it is because you feel that you should or you have to. You feel that you are being a good person by doing this for someone or in the case of family and friends you need to because they cannot possibly carry it for themselves. This becomes such a habit that you do it without knowing you are doing it.

Where the problem begins is when you need to pick up your own load. To take care of your own responsibilities and you are so burdened by the load of others that you cannot possibly carry your own stuff as well as you would like. Now you are in a difficult dilemma because you cannot give people their own stuff back because they have picked up other things and they do not have room for the burdens that you have taken from them. If you give back their luggage and they fall or they cannot carry it themselves, now it is YOUR fault, and suddenly you become the bad person.

And so you carry on with everyone else’s stuff whilst they all head off for their holidays or their adventures, travelling light because you are carrying all of their heavy stuff for them, and how does this leave you feeling?  Angry?  Resentful?  Or maybe just Sad. You cannot take your own holiday because you are carrying too much luggage to board the plane and the luggage isn’t even your own! But you cannot put it down because you would be letting someone else down and this idea terrifies you. So instead you either deny your own needs and convince yourself that you do not need your own luggage and that you do not need a holiday anyway, you can hold the fort and give someone else an opportunity to relax. You can give them a chance for a rest and you will just manage here on your own, or else you can throw all the luggage on the floor and chuck a tantie! This has never really been your style. Instead what you do is allow the weight of everyone else’s baggage to crush your body to the point that you are too injured or ill to carry their bags.

You apologise profusely and then to let them know that you are not faking it just to put their stuff down, you allow yourself to be so broken that you cannot even carry your own stuff after all. This time you still miss out on the holiday and the joy that is supposed to be yours!

BUT: What if you could do it differently?

Yes your body has broken down and yes there may be other things that need a bit of an adjustment but what if you gave yourself permission to change the rules? What if you decided to stop suffering and take charge of your life? What if you decided this time to regain your health for you and not for others so that you could take regular breaks and holidays? What if you agreed to carry your own luggage and let others carry theirs? What if, your reward for getting better was to come back to a more simple life, one in which it was easy to say no, and easy to feel clear and confident about it? What if you could easily identify those who were draining you and expecting too much of you and really clearly, consciously, refuse to allow them to affect you?

What if you could have full and unadulterated permission to smile and laugh and truly be free because what you have already been through has earned you the right?

Do you want to be free?
Then let’s be free!!!!!!!!

Get to know your best friend again. Who is that? It is YOU. Get to know your body and your mind and your spirit. Get to really know what you like and dislike. Come to understand yourself physically, mentally and emotionally and more than anything, BE NICE TO YOURSELF!! Stop judging yourself for packing so much in your own luggage. Don’t give it to someone else to carry, chuck the unnecessary thoughts, feelings and attitudes away! Remember when you packed all of this stuff you were a different person. You did not like yourself very much and you suppressed a lot of your true needs and desires in order to please others. This did not work out very well and it made you sick, so now you have the opportunity to do it differently this time.

How do you do this? Justify clearly to yourself but not to others. You have a good logical brain in your head and you are capable of making well considered decisions. Always make your decision for yourself without allowing others to influence you. Imagine that if you could make this choice and no one would ever have to know about it would you still make it? This will give you a good clue as to what you would like to truly do without the complication of other people’s involvement.

Hear what your most valued advisors have to say. This can be your God, your most trusted friend or a family member, your therapist, or someone without a vested interest in the outcome, but stay firm to your own beliefs and your own dreams.

It is reasonable for you to have all that you want in life. This process also requires that you have a reasonable idea of what you do actually want. This takes a little pondering and reflecting and up until now you may not have given yourself that opportunity.

MAKE the time now for you to consider these things.

It is ok that you want to please others. Write this into your plan, but make sure that you add a clause about pleasing others where it does not compromise your health, your values, your dreams and your goals. It is not selfish to look after yourself first and then give generously of what you have left over.

Reconsider your use of the word LAZY. Look at what you have genuinely achieved in your life. Do not play it down. You have made a huge contribution to others and done more than your fair share of sacrifice. This does not mean that you completely give up on helping others but it does mean that you need to STOP and consider your achievements and your positive actions up until this point.

You may feel that you are lazy because you are not fulfilling your obligations. Consider that you have just put down other people’s luggage and are now only just coming to look at your own. Of course your home and your lifestyle are not as you would like them to be, you haven’t been there to shape them. Do not feel guilty about this, simply begin to plan and dream again.

Just like packing for a trip, pack what you think you need and then get rid of half and then half again. Remember you are trying to travel light. Just because you held onto ten bags that belonged to other people does not mean that you can carry ten of your own. Remember carrying that much is what broke you in the first place?

You have two hands so carry two bags and if you can get away with carrying one so you have a free hand for yourself then even better! Just make sure that this sneaky free hand does not feel the need to help anyone else out. It can be helpful to remind yourself that to take what is not yours is actually called STEALING!! Yes, even if someone is forcing their bags onto you, you need to remind yourself that taking what is not yours is wrong. DO NOT DO IT ANYMORE!

You will not go to jail because of what you have stolen in the past and you will not go to hell because lets face it, you are already there!! But hopefully being aware of it in this way will deter you from committing this serious offence again!! (wink).

You have also been regularly abusing and neglecting yourself in trying desperately not to abuse or neglect others. Both situations are not pleasant or appropriate. But really, would you ever actually harm someone else? Do you have to try so hard not too??

Abusing yourself though, this is something that you pride yourself on. You see it as a badge of honour not just to put others first but to put yourself LAST. You do not belong at the end of any list so stop it!

It is also abusive to trick yourself into feeling that abuse is a treat or a privilege (can anyone say large pack of chips, block of chocolate and full sugar fizzy drink!!). Sometimes the treats are just another way to sabotage your progress.

Neglect is just as detrimental to your health, particularly as it is easier to neglect yourself without noticing. Abuse causes pain because you are doing something to yourself that causes physical or emotional pain either now or in the future. Neglect is not listening to what you need.

Create a list of what you need or feel you need. How many of the items are about basic survival or opportunities to escape?

Stop stealing others responsibilities
Stop abusing yourself
Stop neglecting yourself
Stop slandering yourself. You are not lazy so stop telling lies.
Be generous to yourself first.
Manage yourself and then give. If you don’t have enough left over then you obviously need it yourself.
Stop trying to be charitable when you have become the charity!!
Stop lying to yourself. Stop telling yourself that you are not good enough.


Our bodies are like historic buildings; captivating, breathtaking, inspiring and timeless in their appeal but, like historic buildings, our bodies require maintenance and tender loving care, and in some cases, a full restoration.

When our bodies are strong and healthy we are able to live life to the fullest.  We live with grace and poise.  We feel athletic and efficient.  We think clearly, we focus well and we enjoy the adventure of life because we have faith in ourselves and our bodies to manage any challenges that come our way.

Sometimes, however, through injury, illness or emotional stress or trauma our bodies begin to break down and this is when they need our love the most.
When you are faced with a major restoration it is important to have a plan; a blueprint for good health.

This is a personal plan that will be unique to you.  Your body wants to thrive and to be well and it may need a little help.

Modern medicine is a marvel, there are now surgeries and treatments and medicines for every ailment we can think of.  Embrace everything at your disposal to improve your health but remember these medicines are scaffolding.  They are a sometimes necessary support to keep your building/body safe and upright in order for healing to occur.

Scaffolding stops a lot of bad things from happening e.g. medicine may stop you having a heart attack or stop you from having migraines or anxiety or acid in your stomach but it does not restore your body. Its aim is to protect you whilst you identify the cause and then treat yourself with nutrition or lifestyle change.  If you only put up the scaffolding and don’t do anything to treat the underlying cause you are essentially putting up an ‘out of order’ sign, accepting that you are a condemned building and sending your blueprint into a process of decay and ruin.

Scaffolding is useful, vital and essential but it is the first step and not the only step in the process of restoration.

In order to restore your body to good health it is important to remember quality, strength and balance.  These things will help you to master the basics and get you feeling fitter, stronger and healthier.

The basics really consist of the following areas:

1. Good quality air
2. Good quality drinking water
3. Good quality nutrition
4. Good quality movement
5. Good quality thoughts and attitude
6. Good quality faith and belief in something greater than yourself regardless of what you call it. This doesn’t have to be a belief in religion.
7. Good quality sleep


Good Quality Air

When you try to hold your breath you begin confidently and feel strong, you are on top of the world and you can do anything.  You feel that it would be easy to hold it forever.  But, after only a few seconds it begins to get uncomfortable, you begin to overheat and feel panicky until finally you desperately gasp out for air.

In many ways we live like this, starved of oxygen, panicky and gasping for air and we don’t even realise it.

We love the security of our enclosed spaces.  We love the warmth of our homes and the convenience of our air-conditioning.  We travel often in closed up cars and work in closed up spaces.

In the beginning it is comfortable, cosy and secure and then we begin to be affected. Subtly, at first, through tiredness and lethargy, maybe allergies, maybe a cold or flu here and there and maybe some asthma or headaches.

What we forget is that these enclosed spaces become stagnant, the air quality is poor and we forget that the quality of air that we breathe is directly affecting our health.

Simply by making an effort to rug up and open some windows or to go outside and breathe deeply, you send your body a signal that it’s OK to take what it needs to be healthy.

When we are enclosed in a stagnant space, our body senses it and attempt to take in less pollutants.  We begin to breathe shallowly and our body slows down to conserve energy.
Because our bodies are so clever at protecting us we often don’t notice the effects until they become chronic or severe.

None of us need to live out in the open all the time but every moment that we remember to breathe deeply and allow ourselves access to good quality air, our health takes a step in the right direction.

Good Quality Water

Water – if you are lucky enough to have access to the internet and this site then you are no doubt also lucky enough to have access to good quality fresh drinking water.

Water is vital to our wellbeing and the cleaner our water the better we feel.  Remembering to drink enough can really improve the quality of your health and remembering to filter or change the filter on your water regularly ensures a reduction in the pollutants you ingest.  It may help to set an alarm each hour to remind you to drink or to create an association with something.  Every time an ad break comes on in your favourite show, or you go to the toilet or for those with young children, each time you change a nappy, have a glass of water.  Try it and see what method works best for you.

Good Quality Nutrition

The foods we eat play a huge role in sustaining our bodies and helping us feel good.  In the not so distant past we didn’t have the variety of foods we have now.

Our ancestors used to know what foods were good and safe and which ones were poisonous.  If their body’s ingested a toxin their body did it’s best to expel it.

The body would let us know by making us anxious or sick.  It would make us vomit or give us an irritable bowel or would bloat our stomach in an attempt to break the substance down.
After a negative experience with a food we would know that it was toxic to us and avoid it.

Today we have so many chemicals and additives added to our foods that our bodies have become overloaded with toxins and we no longer know what is safe or poisonous.  We begin to feel sick regularly but with so many toxins to choose from it is difficult to identify what is causing the irritations so we just keep eating.

Again our bodies work their hardest to protect us but over time the toxins win out and the body breaks down. This is not to say that our ancestors would have turned down a burger or a cheese cake if it was offered or was available.  I’m sure they would have eaten for pleasure just as much as the rest of us, but we are exposed to much more difficult and dangerous choices because our poisons have been mixed with other things to make them taste good.

If you are restoring your body do not shock it by dramatically changing what you are eating.  Your body doesn’t need the stress, but do consider increasing the good, safe and tasty alternatives.

Enjoy what you eat as your attitude affects your health.  If you choose to eat something that is a ‘sometimes’ food forgive yourself and enjoy it!  Don’t eat guilt on top.

Whatever you are eating enjoy your food.  Taste your food.  Saviour your food and notice how your food affects your body.

Increase gradually the foods that help your body to function at its best and reduce gradually the foods that are poisonous to you.

Not only will you begin to feel better but your body will applaud you.

Good Quality Movement

Our bodies want to move. It’s what they were designed for.  Our bodies want to move joyfully and purposefully.

If you are going to walk, walk somewhere. If you want to do weights, lift everyday objects carefully.

When you get on a treadmill and go nowhere or lift weights over and over for the sake of it, your body becomes frustrated and might feel confused. This sort of exercise is dictated by the mind. The mind says ‘do hard labour with no logical outcome and stop, not when you are exhausted but when I, the mind, tell you to’. It is no wonder that the body rebels.  Instead give your body exciting, fun, purposeful activities.

Thank your body for working and moving so well for you and if your body is currently unable to move much, because of a health condition, do very gently what you can and focus on some of the other steps to health first.

Good Quality Thoughts & Attitudes

Our thoughts and our attitudes define us.

Think positively and you invite success. Think negatively and you sentence yourself to misery.

When you are rebuilding yourself it is easy to be critical and doubtful of your ability to feel better.
Listen to the words you speak to others. Do you criticise or put yourself down? Listen to the words you speak to yourself. If you spoke to others in the way you speak to yourself would you still be your friend?

Pay attention to your thoughts and notice when they are negative or unhelpful. Then consciously choose to change the channel. Just as we can move through channels on a television to find something better, choose to change the thoughts, the stories and the pictures in your mind to something more helpful.

Over time your positive thoughts and images will become more frequent and powerful and you will begin to feel better.

Good Quality Faith and Belief

Life can be hard and it’s even harder if you feel you are doing it on your own. Having a belief in a loving, powerful and protective being or energy that is greater than yourself, helps you to feel unconditionally cared for and important.

Having something or someone greater than yourself to call on for assistance can greatly reduce feelings of depression, abandonment and helplessness. When you feel that you are not coping and do not have the energy to do it on your own, belief in a higher power can bring great comfort and strength.

Take a few moments now to connect to your higher power. Bask in the energy of unconditional love and support for yourself and your path and give thanks for all of the things that you are grateful for.

Good Quality Sleep

Sleep is absolutely essential to our health and wellbeing. Just go without it for a day or two and you will know what I’m talking about!

Sleep is so important and yet it is not always something we think about until it is a problem.

Some of the following ideas may be helpful in getting your sleep back on track.

  • Create a sleep space that is clean, safe, calm and free of distractions.
  • Create a wind-down routine in the evening to prepare for sleep e.g. close all the curtains, have a shower, engage in quiet and relaxing activities.
  • Read a book rather than surf the net or watch TV as the artificial light overstimulates the brain.
  • Sleep in pyjamas or clothing that you only wear to bed so that your brain associates it with sleep.  (If you sleep naked and this works for you, great, but remember being naked can sometimes signal the brain to feel vulnerable and hyper-alert through the night).
  • Have a pen and paper next to your bed so you can jot down any thoughts, dreams, irritations or worries. Having them on paper stops them from floating around in your head and means you don’t have to keep thinking about them.
  • Don’t overheat yourself as this can lead to nightmares.
  • Go to the toilet before bed as a full bladder can also lead to nightmares
  • Create a dream-time fantasy. Something enjoyable that you can visualise before going to sleep. Remember that your imagination is far more creative and inventive than any TV show.
  • Wait for the sleep wave. Sleep waves come approximately every 45 minutes or so. If you miss one and can’t lie in bed, get up and do something until the next one comes.
  • Go to bed only when you are tired and ready for sleep, but get up at the same time each morning. This avoids a pattern of getting to bed late and sleeping in late. Getting up at the same time each day will make you more tired for the next few nights and you will find it easier to go to bed at a reasonable time.
  • Give up the nanna nap. I am a huge fan of the afternoon nap but if it is interfering with your night time sleep you may need to give it up.
  • Lighting – reduce the artificial light in your lives where possible.  Work with light’s natural rhythms, wind down as the sun goes down and use softer light rather than bright fluorescent lights.
  • Use sunglasses, during the day, but not as a permanent accessory.  Your body requires sunlight to enter through the retina in the eye in order to produce chemicals and enzymes related to rest and wakefulness and healing.

Persist. Good sleep habits are worth persevering with and remember that if your sleep difficulties persist despite trying some of these strategies, go and see a health practitioner.

A Heart To Heart

The heart is the most efficient organ in the body. The body can survive without the brain but the brain cannot survive without the body. This is not a rivalry. The heart is the organ that has been a critical component of survival of the human species since humans came into being. The brain and it’s development came later. The heart was able to regulate bodily processes and decision make effectively even before the brain became conscious.

When the brain became conscious it decided to help the body out by taking over some of the functions of the heart. This worked very well. The brain became additional storage and working memory of the heart and co-ordinated sleep and emotion, balance and thought. The brain was an effective problem-solving machine.

Then as time went on the mind began to forget that the heart had things well under control and began to think that it had the responsibility for controlling everything. It got anxious and stressed to do a good job and was really concerned when it found things going on in the body that it did not understand and could not control.

It’s time again now for the heart and the body to work together. The heart is once again taking its place as the centre of the body with the mind playing a supportive and yet vital role in our evolution.

The mind gets easily distracted whereas the heart remains clear and consistent. The heart is a generous function but does not give to the detriment of itself. The mind on the other hand gives and gives until it has nothing left and the body is left to run in a compromised state because of this undifferentiated giving.

If you are out in the ocean in a motor boat and you see someone who is stranded. The mind would give them your motor, your oars, your life jackets and then the food and water you have in supply. It would do this with a generous spirit and without proper thought assuming that this was the definition of having a generous heart.
The heart on the other hand would efficiently supply the basics, i.e. a small portion of water and then send for help, thus solving the problem and remaining intact itself.

This is something that we have forgotten how to do. We have let the mind be so in control that it has become over loaded, overwhelmed and distracted and has begun to tear itself and consequently the body apart because it seems to have a problem that it cannot solve.

We are currently using medications to effectively slow the brain down and this is a wonderful thing in some cases because it is allowing us to hear our own thought process in slow motion and make corrections of unhelpful thoughts and beliefs. However, if we can help the mind to relax by getting it to share the workload with the heart again, then these medications will become less necessary.

The heart is constant. It is
clear. It is infinitely complex, yet its desires are simple. Your heart will always place your survival and safety first (your mind often doesn’t). The heart is generous, but where generosity is required. The heart is loving and fun as well as stern and serious where required. Take time out to communicate with your heart. You will find that you get constantly distracted but if you can persist a sense of calm will come over you.

Chaos is something that the heart does not feel. The heart is clear and protected from these concerns. Chaos is something that the mind experiences constantly however. The brain feels so busy that it thinks it needs a personal assistant to help it, little realising that this is what it is supposed to be for the heart. The heart says what it wants and the job of the brain is to organize it and make it happen.

The heart’s primary need is for survival and physical health, followed by food, shelter and clothing. Then the heart moves onto higher order needs of love, affection, social status, success and contribution to the whole.

Each of you will experience these needs differently but in essence they will always be the same. Knowing that you have a template to work towards can be very containing and can help you to uncover which bit you are working on now and what your heart needs help with.

By working with the heart and handing some of the responsibility back to the heart for decision making, the mind is free to be used for what it was originally designed for, a problem-solving and storage facility.

The heart does not get distracted. The heart has a primal blueprint and remembers very clearly and specifically the aims, goals and intentions of the body and the person. It feels calm and at peace when it is able to move towards these functions.

The human mind is distracted easily. It is a tool to be used for research, information gathering, ideas, thoughts and feelings. The brain processes the experiences of living but the further away from the present it gets the more stressed, anxious and depressed it gets.

The heart remains calm across all elements of time.

The mind is flighty. The mind takes the ideas of the heart and thinks on them so often and in so many ways that is eventually distorts them and pieces together the blueprint in the way it thinks it should go. The mind forgets to ask the heart for instructions and details on how to implement the plan. The brain forgets because it gets distracted.

” In order to reconnect with the plans of the heart, make a list of all the things that you would like to do or be. The mind will give you lots of options and details but look carefully at the theme running through your ideas. There will be ideas or feelings that have been persistent over time. Ideas that no matter how untenable or seemingly impossible you keep coming back to again and again. These are the true longings of the heart.

If we send the mind to work in fulfilling the aims of the heart then we do not need to do so much circling, we can meet our needs more quickly and in a more satisfied way and the mind can relax knowing that it has fulfilled the brief. Really all that is needed is a few more ‘body corporate’ meetings between the mind and the body, and ultimately the reassurance of the spirit who guides all of these processes quietly often in the background.

Understanding the true plans of the heart is freeing, uplifting and invigorating. The mind might have a bit of a freak out thinking that it is too hard to achieve, but once the mind is reassured that it has support and back up from the heart and spirit, it feels more confident in giving things a go.

” Practice breathing into your heart, focus on the breath reaching this magnificent organ. Knowing that with each and every breath you take that you are providing your body with more energy and attention. Use your mind to speak with your heart. Thank the heart for being there for you since you arrived on the planet and thank the heart for the information, guidance and support that it is now about to provide you.

Tell your heart about the plans you have and what you have been doing to achieve them. Tell your heart what fears you have about this project. Tell your heart what you most desire, and then, when you have finished all that you need to say; Pause and Listen.

Allow the heart to sort through all that you have presented and select the most important focus. Allow the heart to piece this puzzle together and show you what to do next. Allow the heart to set you straight and clarify your goals and intentions.

Remember it is at this point that you will often become distracted. Persist and listen. The mind will want to distract you, but the heart is clear and it will repeat the message as often as is needed. Keep asking and the heart will keep revealing.

When you feel that you have understood your heart’s message, thank the heart and make a commitment to communicate regularly. Bring your focus back to your breathing and feel your body balancing itself and slowly, when you are comfortable have a stretch and go about the rest of your day.

This exercise does not need to be long or complex. It may take only a few minutes. Sometimes it is useful to have a pen and paper ready to record what the heart reveals as you may find that you receive very practical steps to complete your goals.

Remember, your heart always represents you and your needs, not those of other people. You know that even if you do not like what the heart has to say, your heart always has your best interests ‘at heart’. Trust in this. Trust in your heart and your mind will give a sigh of relief and happily follow.

This is the beginning of a unity that leads to wonderful times ahead for all of us.

Body Talk

The changes are accelerating and you are finding that wear and tear on the body is beginning to show. Our bodies are deteriorating and we are unsure how to regulate our bodily processes. Do not give up. Do not give up on yourself or your body. Sometimes it takes time for your bio feedback loop to start up. We want results now and we need that positive feedback from our bodies that we are on the right track. Hang in there and you will get all of the acknowledgement you require.

Starting something new takes commitment and your body is trying always to regulate itself. When faced with a change of circumstance it still goes into survival mode to start with until it has ascertained that the path you are taking is a good one. Give yourself time. Use the mind to encourage you. Set yourself realistic goals around good health behaviours and stick with them. Seek feedback from your body in terms of how you feel your energy levels and note any reduction in illness or reduction of pain. Know that many of you are dealing with chronic health conditions and that you need to be persistent with yourself.

You are all doing so well to think of your health and to help your body to adjust to the changes that are happening around you.

Many of you feel that you have a condition that is helpless or hopeless, that no matter what you do it is going to beat you. This is not the case. Your aim here is to enhance your quality of life and to adapt to the limitations that may be placed onto you. We have a tendency to look at what others are doing and feel bad that we do not have the same energy or good health to match them.

Stop comparing. We all have limitations but make the best use of yours. Do this by prioritizing. Having a chronic condition makes you more efficient at deciding what you will and won’t do. You may not have unlimited energy or time at your disposal but this makes you more confident in saying no to the activities and people that do not serve you.

Let’s all review our lives and find ourselves worthy. Let’s all have a look at what we have done in the past and what we want to do right now. No experience is ever wasted.

Some of us are living in pain that does not seem to go away. It wears us down and makes us question whether we are able to go on. In fact this is becoming more and more common. It’s time for us to get ourselves back on track. Gain a positive focus and control on our lives and make the lives that we have been given work for us.

We need to shift the focus to what we can do rather than what we can’t and call upon faith that the rest will take care of itself.

Dialogue With The Dark Shadow Self

I am the culmination of negative memory, of guilt and dishonour and all the feelings you repress and hide away.  I am the fight and the aggression, the dark cloud that follows you always looking for acknowledgement, looking for release.  I am your greatest potential drenched and blocked in fear.  I am the lesson, I am the emotions you wish to clear but I will never leave because in me is your greatest lesson.

What is the lesson?

That no matter how dark you feel, no matter how blocked or repressed you are, there always lives with in you a great light and a great potential.  The lesson is that I am not dark, I am your greatest light but you have pushed me away and covered me in as much dark as you could to hide my light, as who can refuse light?  You fear me not because of my darkness but because of my light.

The lesson is that I follow you because I am your shadow. I am part of you and in fact I am you.

When you acknowledge the dark messy parts of yourself and know that you are still OK, that you are still light, then we both shine and the darkness disappears.  You no longer fear your potential, you no longer feel pain and illness and sadness.  Instead you are compelled to nurture all of you.  You call back to you and accept your humanness and from this place of power you become truly divine.

We become great by accepting our self exactly as we are and then striving to create something bigger than our self.  This creative surge links us to the power that is greater than us but is us.

So embrace me, your shadow side, know that I am dark but I am not negative.  I know you better than anyone but I would never seek to harm you.  You are a part of me and I adore you.

I remain always with you through good times and bad. I hold the things you wish to forget and I do not blame you for this. If we work as a team we can be strong and positive and together we can change our world for the better.