Sometimes in our busy lives it is possible to get side tracked, over whelmed, manipulated or swayed by those around us. Sometimes this is so subtle that we do not even realise it, or maybe it is blatantly obvious but we have become desensitised to it over many years. When you find yourself getting angry or gossiping incessantly then chances are you have been brought into someone else’s agenda. When this happens it is easy to get involved or even to get over involved. It is easy to want to solve other people’s problems so that they do not need to bother you with them. It is easy to be offended, upset or hurt when actually you do not really feel these things. It is easy to take a stand out of principle and start fights simply because you can and because you feel you should.
When you find yourself in these situations, STOP for a moment and get your bearings. You have been swept away in something that is not your responsibility and is not for you to resolve. Ask yourself the only valid question in this situation “What would a person with high personal Integrity do?” Why this question? Because you are a person of high personal integrity remember?? You have always had an incredibly good moral compass and now is the time to dust it off and pull it back out. Do not get caught up in who said what or who is right and who is wrong or what needs to happen to make it right. Do not get caught up solving the mystery of who is telling the truth and who is manipulating you. This is a waste of your valuable time and energy. The reality is that everyone has plans and everyone has an agenda. If your plans and your agenda match theirs then you are likely to get on well. If your plans and agenda are different then someone is likely to feel manipulated.
By acting with integrity you cannot help but to do the right thing. You cannot help but disconnect yourself and untangle yourself from all of the tiny details that are derailing your ability to think and get back to what is truly important.
No more distractions, no more details, no more thinking about what others need to do. Look only to what you need to do to maintain a high level of personal integrity. Cut the gossip. Cut the leading questions. Step back and give others a chance to work through their own circumstances.
Have compassion for the circumstances of others but remain firmly planted in your own life. Be concerned only about what you are doing.
Remember that in many cases you are more respected for standing back than getting involved so investing time coming up with your own best plans for others is counterproductive to your own stress levels.
Practice genuinely staying out of the business of others and remaining committed to your own life. Help out only if or when it is required and then do it willingly. Sometimes this is the only responsible path.