We spend much of our lives directing our life force and our energy out into the world. We focus on people, things and environments that are external to ourselves. At some point if we lack balance between an external focus and an internal one, our bodies and minds begin to suffer the effects through exhaustion and injury and illness. The body lets us know that we have been away too long by reminding us of pain.
When we are infants we need to learn that our arms and legs are a part of us. We do this through movement and touch. When our mothers massage our toes and stroke our fingers, she is an extension of us and she is showing us that all is well and as a consequence our nerves connect and learn how to function optimally.
In the case of auto immune diseases of any kind, the pain is caused because you have been out of your body too much or have become chronically disconnected. This can happen through emotional or physical trauma, abuse, depression and being overloaded and overwhelmed.
When you are overloaded elements of the body and or mind disconnect from the body and the body begins to deteriorate. The body sees you as a stranger and therefore as a threat. It thinks that it can not trust you because you are never there or you never communicate anymore.
This can also happen in pregnancy if your body does not assimilate and recognise your baby as your own.
The solution to this is to come back into your body again. You spend way too much time trying to not be present. It is time to take responsibility and get back in. Just by being consciously present your body responds to you. Take time to get to know your body again through touch. Treat your body gently when you wash it and dry it. Gently rub your arms or give yourself a head or foot massage to remind yourself that everything is connected and that your body is a part of you.
In terms of migraines, usually this is fear based. Not only do you disconnect from your body because you are afraid that you are going to die, you disconnect from your mind because the thoughts that you have are too traumatic.
In this instance, do cranial work getting to know your head again. Learn to breathe properly. Massage your scalp and release tension from inside your mouth by pressing your thumbs up on the roof of your mouth. Press firmly on the muscles of your jaw to release them and rub firmly behind your ears.
Get to know each element of your face and head intimately and as you do so you are reconnecting with yourself. It is important that you are doing these things for yourself and not just relying on others or other professionals to do this for you. Even though it feels great to have someone else in charge and they can often reach bits you cannot reach, it is your relationship with yourself that allows for the healing to occur.
In the case of diabetes, protein cannot get into the cells properly and so your physical health deteriorates. There is an excess of sugar in your blood and just as eating sugary foods damage your teeth, having an excess of glucose in your blood damages the body.
Imagine that what you eat converts into molasses, a thick sweet, sticky, gooey substance. Because there is a lot of this in your blood, your body tries to expel it by making you drink more and urinate more frequently. Unfortunately this is not always effective over the long term and clearing out this substance places great pressure on the organs of the body.
When you have diabetes this substance makes it hard to have energy. This is because you are not converting protein into energy because the protein cannot be absorbed properly into your cells. Instead you are using glucose as a form of energy but you always have too much of it. It is harder to lose weight because when you exercise like a regular person you just burn off the glucose and not the fats. If you exercise for long enough to get to burn off fat then you become exhausted and your body triggers the hunger response thus continuing the cycle.
There are several ways that you can help your body to manage this cycle.
First of all drink plenty of water. This essentially flushes out the toxins and glucose from your bloodstream and organs. Hydration will help you to feel better and more mentally alert.
Immediately after you eat do 15-20 minutes of activity. It does not have to be high intensity, just avoid sitting down straight away. Walk around the house or office or wherever you happen to be. If you want to do gentle bike riding on an exercise bike then do 10 minutes. Having movement after you eat helps to eliminate the sugars in your bloodstream and activate your metabolism. If you eat 3 meals a day and have 20 minutes activity after each meal then you are getting a good amount of movement to clear your system out.
Do not do more than 20 minutes at a time after meals as this will trigger a hunger response and will undo the good work that you are doing.
Bless your water before you drink it. I bless this water with good health. I bless my blood and I allow the protein to enter my cells.
Research has shown that the cellular structure of water changes when intent is projected into water. It is a quick simple strategy that can make drinking your water a more pleasant experience.
For those with organ function issues i.e. kidney, liver, heart issues. All of these strategies will help to take the pressure off your organs and to improve general wellbeing.
Migraines are fear based. They occur when the mind thinks thoughts that are stressful, threatening or traumatic. This can occur after a single traumatic event but usually is the result of chronic stress within an environment or chronic negative thinking.
Of course there are other common elements that may bring about migraine, including a reaction to medication or food, lack of sleep and having a body that is in need of adjustment (i.e. chiropractic, osteopathic etc.), but essentially these can all be classified as some sort of stress placed on the body.
When you are out of your body or disconnected from your body or your thoughts for too long, new brain pathways develop that make it easier for you to be away but your body has to work harder and on less energy when you disconnect. This puts the body under additional strain and so it begins to breakdown. We tend to see this as even more reason not to be in the body and we get more fearful about the state of our health. The worry disconnects us even further and the cycle continues.
The only person who can fully assimilate themselves back into their body and into their life is you. This is a very manageable process once the decision is made but making the decision is very hard.
Being unwell protects you from the demands of others. Being unwell gives you permission to give up those activities that are too demanding and which you do not want to prioritise. Being unwell gets you the support and sympathy you need to cope in this world, BUT it all comes at a cost. You are essentially destroying yourself because you cannot face others. You are too polite to say what you really feel some of the time and you would rather hurt yourself than hurt someone else’s feelings. When you give up on you, the cost can be too high.
The spiral of health issues and emotional overload continues and life gets harder and more limited. It becomes impossible to do all of the good things, and all of the practical things that you want to do when you are disconnected. When you are disconnected you get everyone else’s negative emotion as they try to help, but end up feeling resentful, and you miss out on the positive connections with loved ones because you are just not able to be there to enjoy them.
So what is the solution? You could have a walk in take over as you feel that this would forgo the burden of grief that your family would feel if you were not there, but guess what? Others are not so simple. They can tell that you are no longer there and they are grieving anyway.
You do not want to die, in fact most of your anxieties and fears are about thinking that you are dying because your body feels so bad. You are most desperately afraid of not being good enough. You have suddenly discovered that the things you want in life are important and that it’s not enough to want something, you need to be prepared for taking responsibility for it.
You are overloaded with responsibility but guess what? Most of it is not actually yours to take!! When you walk through the airport of life you seem to consciously or unconsciously begin to carry everyone else’s luggage. Sometimes this is because people directly ask you to because they know that you will, and sometimes it is because you feel that you should or you have to. You feel that you are being a good person by doing this for someone or in the case of family and friends you need to because they cannot possibly carry it for themselves. This becomes such a habit that you do it without knowing you are doing it.
Where the problem begins is when you need to pick up your own load. To take care of your own responsibilities and you are so burdened by the load of others that you cannot possibly carry your own stuff as well as you would like. Now you are in a difficult dilemma because you cannot give people their own stuff back because they have picked up other things and they do not have room for the burdens that you have taken from them. If you give back their luggage and they fall or they cannot carry it themselves, now it is YOUR fault, and suddenly you become the bad person.
And so you carry on with everyone else’s stuff whilst they all head off for their holidays or their adventures, travelling light because you are carrying all of their heavy stuff for them, and how does this leave you feeling? Angry? Resentful? Or maybe just Sad. You cannot take your own holiday because you are carrying too much luggage to board the plane and the luggage isn’t even your own! But you cannot put it down because you would be letting someone else down and this idea terrifies you. So instead you either deny your own needs and convince yourself that you do not need your own luggage and that you do not need a holiday anyway, you can hold the fort and give someone else an opportunity to relax. You can give them a chance for a rest and you will just manage here on your own, or else you can throw all the luggage on the floor and chuck a tantie! This has never really been your style. Instead what you do is allow the weight of everyone else’s baggage to crush your body to the point that you are too injured or ill to carry their bags.
You apologise profusely and then to let them know that you are not faking it just to put their stuff down, you allow yourself to be so broken that you cannot even carry your own stuff after all. This time you still miss out on the holiday and the joy that is supposed to be yours!
BUT: What if you could do it differently?
Yes your body has broken down and yes there may be other things that need a bit of an adjustment but what if you gave yourself permission to change the rules? What if you decided to stop suffering and take charge of your life? What if you decided this time to regain your health for you and not for others so that you could take regular breaks and holidays? What if you agreed to carry your own luggage and let others carry theirs? What if, your reward for getting better was to come back to a more simple life, one in which it was easy to say no, and easy to feel clear and confident about it? What if you could easily identify those who were draining you and expecting too much of you and really clearly, consciously, refuse to allow them to affect you?
What if you could have full and unadulterated permission to smile and laugh and truly be free because what you have already been through has earned you the right?
Do you want to be free?
Then let’s be free!!!!!!!!
Get to know your best friend again. Who is that? It is YOU. Get to know your body and your mind and your spirit. Get to really know what you like and dislike. Come to understand yourself physically, mentally and emotionally and more than anything, BE NICE TO YOURSELF!! Stop judging yourself for packing so much in your own luggage. Don’t give it to someone else to carry, chuck the unnecessary thoughts, feelings and attitudes away! Remember when you packed all of this stuff you were a different person. You did not like yourself very much and you suppressed a lot of your true needs and desires in order to please others. This did not work out very well and it made you sick, so now you have the opportunity to do it differently this time.
How do you do this? Justify clearly to yourself but not to others. You have a good logical brain in your head and you are capable of making well considered decisions. Always make your decision for yourself without allowing others to influence you. Imagine that if you could make this choice and no one would ever have to know about it would you still make it? This will give you a good clue as to what you would like to truly do without the complication of other people’s involvement.
Hear what your most valued advisors have to say. This can be your God, your most trusted friend or a family member, your therapist, or someone without a vested interest in the outcome, but stay firm to your own beliefs and your own dreams.
It is reasonable for you to have all that you want in life. This process also requires that you have a reasonable idea of what you do actually want. This takes a little pondering and reflecting and up until now you may not have given yourself that opportunity.
MAKE the time now for you to consider these things.
It is ok that you want to please others. Write this into your plan, but make sure that you add a clause about pleasing others where it does not compromise your health, your values, your dreams and your goals. It is not selfish to look after yourself first and then give generously of what you have left over.
Reconsider your use of the word LAZY. Look at what you have genuinely achieved in your life. Do not play it down. You have made a huge contribution to others and done more than your fair share of sacrifice. This does not mean that you completely give up on helping others but it does mean that you need to STOP and consider your achievements and your positive actions up until this point.
You may feel that you are lazy because you are not fulfilling your obligations. Consider that you have just put down other people’s luggage and are now only just coming to look at your own. Of course your home and your lifestyle are not as you would like them to be, you haven’t been there to shape them. Do not feel guilty about this, simply begin to plan and dream again.
Just like packing for a trip, pack what you think you need and then get rid of half and then half again. Remember you are trying to travel light. Just because you held onto ten bags that belonged to other people does not mean that you can carry ten of your own. Remember carrying that much is what broke you in the first place?
You have two hands so carry two bags and if you can get away with carrying one so you have a free hand for yourself then even better! Just make sure that this sneaky free hand does not feel the need to help anyone else out. It can be helpful to remind yourself that to take what is not yours is actually called STEALING!! Yes, even if someone is forcing their bags onto you, you need to remind yourself that taking what is not yours is wrong. DO NOT DO IT ANYMORE!
You will not go to jail because of what you have stolen in the past and you will not go to hell because lets face it, you are already there!! But hopefully being aware of it in this way will deter you from committing this serious offence again!! (wink).
You have also been regularly abusing and neglecting yourself in trying desperately not to abuse or neglect others. Both situations are not pleasant or appropriate. But really, would you ever actually harm someone else? Do you have to try so hard not too??
Abusing yourself though, this is something that you pride yourself on. You see it as a badge of honour not just to put others first but to put yourself LAST. You do not belong at the end of any list so stop it!
It is also abusive to trick yourself into feeling that abuse is a treat or a privilege (can anyone say large pack of chips, block of chocolate and full sugar fizzy drink!!). Sometimes the treats are just another way to sabotage your progress.
Neglect is just as detrimental to your health, particularly as it is easier to neglect yourself without noticing. Abuse causes pain because you are doing something to yourself that causes physical or emotional pain either now or in the future. Neglect is not listening to what you need.
Create a list of what you need or feel you need. How many of the items are about basic survival or opportunities to escape?
Stop stealing others responsibilities
Stop abusing yourself
Stop neglecting yourself
Stop slandering yourself. You are not lazy so stop telling lies.
Be generous to yourself first.
Manage yourself and then give. If you don’t have enough left over then you obviously need it yourself.
Stop trying to be charitable when you have become the charity!!
Stop lying to yourself. Stop telling yourself that you are not good enough.